Following my surgeries....
I was depressed.
I had anxiety. Going out in public was traumatizing for me.
I was paranoid that everyone was looking at my chest (which most often they were).
I struggled with my newly formed body. This disproportions of my breasts size (which were smaller) to my ever growing belly made it so very hard for me. I felt like a pear or bowling pin. Sure my breast were perkier, but they didn't fit my body anymore.
And it was the loved ones that surrounded me that pointed out my apparent depression.
I took Zoloft. I felt okay. But I was not at one with my body. Talk about insecurities!
Each return doctors visit I was counseled in a kind way that losing weight would be beneficial for me (obviously). Did you know that your risk of having cancer increases exponentially if you are obese. Which I was!
|Me and My Genetics Counselor|
I weighed eventually weighed in at my largest weight to date...
I knew I was ONE pound away from being 300. I could not believe I'd let it get this out of hand. I continued to medicate my aching heart and soul with Dr. Pepper...lots and lots. I had a desk drawer full of SUGAR...lots and lots. Black licorice and mega M&Ms were my poison of choice...a long with a helping of Lays Kettle Potato Chips.
Now I wasn't a bing eater. I didn't eat an entire bag of any one thing. But I NEVER made healthy choices when it came to food and I soooooo loved my Dr. Pepper.
I knew things had to change.
I knew I felt yucky. My stomach was always upset ALL.THE.TIME.
I knew my life was in chaos and I seemed to have NO control over anything. I wasn't focus on my career, I felt very distant with my religion and I felt unhealthy.
Thanks to a wonderfully sweet friend, I went to my first class that begun my new JOURNEY. I will always be thankful to that friend for being inspired to offer me a ride. I was on the fence about attending and that was the one thing I needed to get me there.... a friend to drag my butt.
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HELLO....I appreciate you reading about me and my experience with BRCA1 and "everyday life". Thank you for taking the time to comment in the positive (but if you want to be negative I invite you to go read someone else's blog).